i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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