This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize