I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
