Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
