She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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