it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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