I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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