This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
