When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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