I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
