And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
