Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
birth control should be required to get into college
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You're like the curious george of whores
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
