Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
