You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
