Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
