So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
