they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
