Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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