So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize