she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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