I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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