why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
