3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
