Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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