Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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