once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
