with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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