that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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