I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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