There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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