I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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