question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
