I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
