1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
