he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
