I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
