this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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