hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
