He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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