i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize