We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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