Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
