what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
