Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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