Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
