Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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