you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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