Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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