On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
