3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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