She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize