I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
