So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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