your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
