I wanna bring you to show and tell
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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