so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
