i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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