i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
