They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
