Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
